In the words of Chris
Daughtry, “Be careful what you wish for,
cause you just might get it all.”
This rang true from me yesterday.
As I sat to write my blog, I wracked my brain over and over, trying to figure out what to write on.
I would start a sentence, just to delete it.
I asked God what I should write on and nothing came…until 5 hours later.
5 hours later, I found
myself on a stage, singing in a songwriters round.
5 hours later, I had
something to write about.
The stage is one of
the scariest places on the planet for me.
In fact, I spent
much of my life running away from the stage.Despite all my efforts, the stage always seems to find me, and bring me back.
With trembling hands
and a raising heart beat, I took the stage.
Thankfully, I didn't
take it alone. My co-writer is always next to me, along with other writers.
In a scary place, it’s nice to not be alone.
The first song came
and went, pretty much problem free.
The second song…not
so much.
Heading into the
second verse, I started late, and messed up the melody.
Consequently, I had
to completely stop, and re-start the song.Fail.
Fail.
Fail.
When I got off
stage, I kept my eyes lowered, looking directly at the floor. I didn’t want to
catch anyone’s eyes. I had a hard time even looking at my co-writer, because I
thought I had failed him.
When I got into my
car to head home, the tears started falling.
You see, 15 years ago, I loved the stage.
15 years ago, I loved singing in front of people.
But all that changed one night.
I received the part as Narrator for my school’s performance of, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
After one of the performances, a person came up to me and commented about a note I had missed on one of the songs. Out of all the things I had done right, this person felt the need to tell me the one thing I did wrong.
Consequently, I vowed never to get on stage again.
When I got back to
my house last night, my roommate asked how it went.
“Terrible. I messed up the song. “
“Did you finish the song?”
“Yes.”
“Then I consider it a success.”
“No, it wasn’t. I failed. I messed up.”
“No, you did not fail. You finished the song.
You didn’t cry and walk off stage. You finished it. And even if you would have
cried, or failed to sing the rest of the song, I’m glad this happened to you. I’m
glad you messed up. This was actually the best thing that could have happened to you. You are human, you are not
perfect. You are not a machine, and you are going to make mistakes. You are going
to need to learn to be ok with making mistakes. “
The beauty about
songwriting is that it is raw.
As listeners, we get to hear a little bit of
someone’s heart. As listeners, we get a glimpse into the vulnerability of what
makes a person, a person. As songwriters, we get to share a little bit of our heart. As songwriters, we get to share the things that make us who we are, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Art is not supposed
to be perfect. Art is supposed to be real.
My brilliant
roommate made me listen to a recording of, The
Sounds of Silence, by Simon & Garfunkel.
Countless mistakes
were made on the recording, but I didn’t hear them. All I heard was an incredible piece of art.
I’m not running
away from the stage this time.
I’m not running
away from my fears this time.I’m not running away from my mistakes this time.
I am not a perfect songwriter.
I am a mistake- making, perfectly-imperfect songwriter.
100% flawed, 100% real.
Don’t do what I did
15 years ago.
Don’t run away. 
No comments:
Post a Comment