Good Friday and The Iceberg

Looking back on my life, I realize that I  have had more appointments with counselors than dates.

For awhile, I was seeing a new counselor every month, in hopes that one of them would stick. I don't remember any of their names, just random things that happened during our sessions. 

For example, one counselor told me to close my eyes, and imagine I was a color and shape. 

Out of an attempt to make the session as short as possible because I had to use the bathroom, I quickly picked out a black blob. 

This was probably due to the mascara that made it's way onto the surface of my eyeball.

And so for the next hour, he psychoanalyzed the black blob I spoke of, not realizing that I wasn't taking the exercise seriously. 

And then there was the counselor with the iceberg picture. 

On our first visit, she pointed to a picture of a iceberg that was hanging on her wall.

This picture shows not only the tip that is above water, but  also the part that is underneath.

"This," she said as she pointed to the part that is underwater, "This is what we need to deal with"

She saw past my smile, my good-girl attitude, and my many masks.

I was a onion, with multiple layers that needed shedding, a lot of shedding. 

Today as I was writing in my journal, I had a thought randomly come to me, "Believe in the behind the scenes."

After I watched my pen write those words, I thought about the iceberg, but in a different way. 

On the surface, it seems as if many of my dreams have not come true yet.  I won't bore you with those because if you have read any of my other blogs, you know those dreams circulate around a relationship and music. 

It's not that nothing has happened, its  just that not enough has happened (in my mind).

On the surface, it seems as if my desires are near impossible.

On the surface, it feels sometimes as if God doesn't see and doesn't care. 

Even Jesus, God's own Son, cried out on the cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" Mark 15:34.

On the surface, God wasn't anywhere to be found. 

On the surface, the Disciple's faith seemed to be lost.  

And then three days later….

"He has risen." Mark 16:6

As I go into Easter weekend, I remember to not be fooled by appearances. 

I remember to not be swayed by how things may seem to be. 

God's silence doesn't reflect His absence. 

It may take 3 days, 3000 hours, or 30 years. 

In fact, it may take us getting to Heaven before we understand.

Regardless of how long it takes, we are called to believe in the behind the scenes. 

Because behind the scenes, God is working. 

Because behind the scenes, God is up to something. 

Because behind the scenes, God is still God.