Check Your Heart...

Jealousy. Pride. Arrogance. Envy.

I have been all four.

I was jealous when my boyfriend in college left me for a friend. 

I was prideful when I thought my looks and weight would get me a job after college. 

I was arrogant when I thought I deserved a better job because I had a college degree.

I was envious just the other day when I saw another proposal posted online.

If we are all brutally honest, I think we all struggle with these 4 ugly, ugly words.

It's very easy for me to go to church, sing the worship songs, raise my hand in agreement with the pastor and smile and hug my friends like everything is ok. Act like nothing is wrong….because this has somehow become the Christian way. 

I think it's a good thing we can't see what one another are really thinking and feeling because we would probably be very taken back if we saw what everyone was really like at times. 

Just the other day I was reading my devotional when it had me turn to 2 Corinthians 13:4…well, I accidentally turned to 1 Corinthians 13:4 (very intentional on God's part) "Love is patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude".

Now I have heard this scripture over and over…weddings…"A Walk to Remember" (only the best movie ever)…but, for the first time, I felt like God was talking right to me. 

"Check your heart Amy"

Being 30 and single is hard. Being 30 years old, still in school, still somewhat lost on what God is leading me to is also very hard. If ever the devil could make me start to doubt God's plan for my life, it would be now. If ever there was a time to start being envious of everyone around me having babies, getting promotions, getting married and so on..it would be now. If ever there was a time to not want to celebrate with my friends victories, it would be now. 

 In the age of social media (where everyone's life is better online..guaranteed) we can become very envious and jealous of others successes. We can look at what everyone has and suddenly feel like we aren't good enough. Maybe it's time to get of Facebook and get into the Word? (just a thought:))

There is something wrong with me when I can't be happy for my friend who just got her dream job. There is  something wrong with my heart when I can't be encouraged when my friend gets promoted. There is something wrong with my heart when I can't be joyful for my friends. 

So, check yourself. How well do you handle others accomplishments? How well do celebrate your friends victories? 

If we are Christians, we are CALLED to do this. 

If I can't be happy for my friends and others, then I don't really believe God is good and I must not really trust His Word when He says in Jeremiah 29:11 "I have a good plan for your life".

So, instead of letting jealousy poke it's little (and ugly) head in my life, I am challenged to really be joyful when good things happen to my friends and others, knowing that God still has a plan for my life…a GOOD plan…and He hasn't forgotten about me...or you.