Rock-Paper-Scissors

I came across a picture of me taken in 2007.

I immediately thought, “ My hair looks a mess. What was I wearing? Those glasses are hideous, why do I still have them? I need to throw them away. How did someone get a picture of me? I hated pictures.. Why am I trying to be cool? That’s not how you make a peace sign. Am I playing Rock-Paper-Scissors? My fingers are too skinny…but they look like my mom’s…ok, my fingers are fine…“

and then I just stared at the picture. 

A lump started in my throat and I couldn’t help but feel the tears begin to gather in the corner of my eyes.

I looked at my old self the same way I imagine a mother looks at her daughter.

And If I had the chance, I would go back, wrap my arms around her (because I know she didn’t like hugs then) and refuse to let go until she was overwhelmed and broken down with nothing but grace.

I remember the day this picture was taken.

I remember thinking my faith wasn’t strong enough.
I still struggled with recovery, and to me, that meant that I had failed. 

You can't see it past my oversized sunglasses and sarcastic smile, but I was a mess. 

What would I tell the person in this picture?

I would tell this person in the picture that faith, like everything else, is a journey. Healing can be instant,  but most of the time it’s a long, long, long road.

I would tell this person in the picture to relax.

I would tell this person in the picture that a Bible verse isn't a quick fix band-aid. Some wounds need to be brought to the surface in order to heal.

I would tell this person in the picture that it’s ok to mess up.

I would tell this person in the picture that her flaws make her beautiful, not her tan skin, white teeth or blonde hair. True beauty isn't artificial, it's not something that changes...beauty has everything to do with the soul. 
And she won't believe me, but in a few years she won't even desire to be tan anymore. Pale looks so much better on her. 

I would tell this person in the picture to remember that people are people, imperfect beings loved by a perfect God…and to give them a break.  

I would tell this person in the picture to walk away from any guy who disregards her talent, comments on her cooking or tells her to wear her makeup or hair a different way.

I would tell this person to smile every opportunity she has because that is one piece of healing she can bring to a broken world.

Lastly, I would tell her to trust her story. 

To trust that God is holding her with His right hand, despite how the crashing waves around her feel. 

To trust that God is molding her into the masterpiece He wants, not what the world wants.

And to trust that among the disappointments, heartbreaks, unanswered prayers, and silence, He still has an amazing plan for her life. 

What would you tell your past? 

“Every time you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place”

-Rascal Flatts- Stand