Bangs, Not Botox

Last Monday morning, I woke up with a small rash on my face.

This morning, I woke up with a lot of small rashes on my face.
If it weren’t for make up, I would have taken sick leave at my job.

Despite knowing the truth about who I am in Christ, I am extremely self-conscious.

In fact, one of my first thoughts after getting accepted into Mercy Ministries was about fashion.
“Are they going to make me wear long dresses?”
“Are they going to let me wear make up?”
“Are they going to let me straighten my hair?”

In my mind, Christian women aren’t supposed to care about how they look.

In my mind, I am not a, “good”, Christian because I do.
Rubbish.

I have always been concerned with my outward appearance.

In fact, shortly after I got bangs cut, I realized that they hid my forehead lines really well.
I have a feeling I will always have bangs because of this.
Who needs Botox when you can have bangs?

Last Wednesday night, my insecurities took over. 

I told my roommate that if the bumps didn’t go away, I was going to just stay in all weekend.
She looked at me and said, “No, you will not do that."
And I said, “But I can’t go out with my face looking like this."
She then said, “If you do not leave the house because of your face, you are putting all your worth into your appearance.  You are saying to yourself, “I am not worthy, I am not good enough, I am not valuable."

Ouch.

Good friends aren’t afraid to call you out.
Good friends aren’t afraid to crash your pity party.
Good friends aren’t afraid to let you know you are being ridiculous.
Thank goodness for good friends.

For me, it was a rash on my face.

For you, it may be too small of lips.
For someone else, it may be being too tall.
And yet for others, it may be your nose.

While I could have let these terrorizing, not to mention incredibly itchy, dots on my face keep me from going to work, I didn’t.

 I was brave.

This whole post may sound really silly to you.  In fact, it probably should.

But for me, it was a reflection of how far I have come.   

Two years ago I wouldn’t have left my room for anything if this would have happened.

Two years ago, I would have ordered in every night, and watched church online.
But this time, I was brave.
This time, I didn’t hide.

Sometime, being brave is asking for help.

Sometimes, being brave is apologizing.
Sometimes, being brave is public speaking.
Sometimes, being brave is leaving the known for the unknown.
Sometimes, being brave is going out in public.  

Thank goodness my friend called me out on my superficiality, and reminded me of my worth.

I hope everyone has a friend like that.

Step out and shine today.

Forget about all that’s wrong and remind yourself of all that’s right.
You are beautiful.
You are worthy.
You are exactly who you are supposed to be, spots and all.