I Made a Mistake

I made a mistake.

Yesterday I posted a blog about a young man I met at Starbucks.

The meeting was random, but not accidental.

I didn’t think anything of it, until I got scared.

I was scared because of everything I’ve seen on television and in the news.

What if someone saw me talking to him? Since I am Christian, and he is Muslim, I didn’t want to get hurt.

I was scared for his life and I was scared for mine.

This may sound crazy to you…but when you wake up at 5:30 a.m. in a panic, you aren’t in the most rational mindset.

So I took it down.

I forgot my faith, and instead, listened to fear.

Jesus wouldn’t have taken the blog down.

Jesus challenged social norms.

Jesus loved radically.

Jesus lived to make an impact.

Jesus calls His followers to live fearlessly.

Jesus calls His followers to not fear, because He has overcome fear.

And I made a mistake.

I forgot what it meant to be His follower.  

I have asked over and over for God to use me, and He did.

But then I fled.

I listened to the media and the world around me, and shrunk back.

Just like Peter denied Jesus, I denied Jesus.

I didn’t say that I didn’t know Him, rather, I acted like I didn’t know Him.

He calls us to be brave.

I was a coward.

This young man sent me a text message the next day that said, “thank you for being kind.”

And I wept.

How insensitive? How religious? How far from Christ could I have acted?

If I get scared over one blog, perhaps I should take back my question for God to use me.

I don’t know if I will ever see this young man again.

One thing I do know is this, he changed my life.

He challenged my faith in the best possible way.

He showed me what it means to just be, “kind.”

And I nailed it, until a simple, “delete” button.

For all the times I have and I will fail Christians and others, I am sorry.

I made a mistake.

I forgot Christ.

I’m like the parable of the soil in Luke 8: 15, “they believe, but in times of testing they fall away.”

I failed Jesus.

And I failed myself.

Thankfully, Jesus doesn’t recount our failures and shortcomings to us.

Instead, He tells me to move on, and shine my light for all others to see.

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.” Luke 8:16

He does tell me to not fear, because no matter what happens, He will never leave my side.

Through trials, through pain, through struggles, through doubt, through the storms, through the waves…

He will never leave me, or you.

“I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable” David Platt