The Other Woman

Last night, I watched the movie, The Other Woman.

It was a bizarre love triangle between a woman, her husband, and his two lovers.
In the end, the three women become allies and friends, working together to bring down the cheating husband.  

There was one part in the movie that caught me off guard, causing chills up and down my body.

The wife's character is on the beach, looking at the sunset, and coming to terms with her life.

She had been holding on to the hope that he would change. 
Unfortunately, he never did. 

She finally has a, "bright light " awakening moment, and in an act of brevity, throws her wedding ring in the ocean.

She finally realizes she needs to move on.
She realizes she deserves better.

While watching this, I realized how many times I was, in fact, the other woman.

Except, I have been the one cheating on myself.

How many times have I pretended to be someone I'm not?

How many times have I neglected my talents, my feelings, my desires, in order to fit inside a box?
How many times have I played a role I was never meant to play?
How many times have I been what people want, not what I need?

I want so badly to be accepted by others that I forfeit my opinion.

I want so desperately to not fall, so I don't try.
I want so much to be an inspiration and success story that I sometimes have a hard time admitting when I fail.
I want Facebook "likes", so I photoshop the crows feet around my eyes. 
I never want to go back to being called "big boned", so I eat a lot of salads and use a treadmill regularly.

Someday, I get it right.

Most days, I get it wrong.

It doesn't matter how many scriptures I quote, how much money I give to a non-profit, how many Elevation Church sermons I listen to, how many filters I use, how many dates I have, how much money I make, how many songs I sing or blogs I write….

None of that matters if I am not who God created me to be.

I have settled for far less than what I am capable of.
I know it and God knows it.

Why?
Fear.

I'm scared of success as much as failure.

I'm scared because I know I have more potential than I even realize.
I'm scared because I know I am worth it.

Have you ever felt like, the other woman?

Have you ever felt like you were playing a part in the play of life?
Have you ever hid behind a job, degree, man, or woman, microphone, ministry or even your children because you didn't think who you were, by yourself, was good enough?

I am learning what it means to be genuine and transparent through my writing.

What started out as a form of therapy and release has taught me more about myself than anything else.

I understand the importance of self-care.  
I am realizing how much courage it takes to just be, "me".

I have even started taking myself out on dates.

Not because I am vain and narcissistic. 
But because I need to fall in love with myself..over and over...every single day. 

The world needs you to be you, no strings attached.

The world needs you to follow your desires and reach your potential.
The world needs you to unbutton the multiple coats, and untie the numerous masks you have on.
The world needs you to fall in love with who God created you to be.

The world is waiting for you.

Not, "the other woman," but you.

“If you knew how capable you are, you’d stop worrying and start amazing yourself”