Filter-Free: A Look Behind My Facebook Feed

If you based my life off of my Facebook page, it would appear that I am making strides in songwriting with all my, "almost" chances.

It would look like I am on my way. 

It would seem as if I had it all figured out. 

However, as we all know, social media filters not only our looks, but also our, "behind the scenes. "

What Facebook doesn't show are the tears I cried last Tuesday night. 

What Facebook doesn't show is how lost I can feel in this city of dreams.  

If I can be honest, I haven't really had the urge to write in a couple weeks…not a blog…not a song. 

There is a part of me that wants to throw in the towel, give up, go back to school, and find a job that makes more sense. 

And here is where I would usually write some encouraging and inspiring quote, but not this time. 

This time, I'm not going to patch a discouragement wound with a self-help-self-motivating band-aid quote, or scripture. 

This time, I am going to dig deeper into what it looks like when dreams don't come true, when desires aren't met, when life doesn't look anything like we hoped it would. 

Because….sometimes, that is our life.

Sometimes, the breaks don't come. 

Sometimes, the deal doesn't go through. 

Sometimes, we don't get the guy. 

Sometimes, we don't get the girl. 

Sometimes, we don't have the white picket fence.  

Sometimes, we don't get the corner office. 

And if we allow it, these disappointments can become our ruin. 

But, they don't have to be. 

I saw in the past few weeks how my dream had become my idol. 

I saw how making it as a songwriter had become my only hope. 

I realized how this desire has kept me on a hamster wheel, running but going nowhere...

Trying to figure out who to write with.

Trying to come up with the best hooks.
Trying to figure out a way to make it happen on my own. 

I saw how music and, "making it,"  had become bigger than my God. 

And this was my recipe for discouragement...and intense writers block. 

Instead of holding on so tightly, I realized I needed to let go, and surrender my dream back on the altar, and back at Jesus's feet. 

Some would call this giving up. 

I call this pressing forward. 

I give my dream over to Him, because He was the one who gave it to me in the first place. 

We are called to dream BIG, to pursue our desires, to find our calling. 

But God loves you and I way too much to hand those desires over to us if they will ultimately cause us to lose sight of Him.

Stop the striving. 

Stop the obsessing. 

Breathe. 

Relax. 

Trust. 

"You may not end up where you thought you were going, but you will always end up where you were meant to be..."

-Unknown